Thanks everyone for your answers. In the 3+ weeks since I posted this question I ended up having to custom code a solution on this and have since moved onto another project (I'm also not receiving email updates on posts for some reason). However, Moshka since you're on the LR dev team and are citing a (new) KB I have marked your answer as the solution for future questions on this issue.
If I encounter this question soon and the solution works, I'll confirm on this thread. If a long time passes I will only repost on this thread if the solution does NOT work. However, I figure you did your homework so I doubt I'll have a problem with the posted solution.
Thanks!